


frosty the (evil) snowman

by Jessistired



Category: DCU (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:14:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24431926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessistired/pseuds/Jessistired
Summary: “I mean it’s not just me, right?” Ted asked as he used a laser to melt a snowman, “This feels wrong.”“Like this is some metaphor for childhood innocence?” Zatanna said.“Exactly!”Dinah kicked the head off of a snowman, “I think you’re both looking too deep into this.”“You just decapitated Frosty,” Ted replied.
Relationships: Zatanna Zatara & Dinah Lance & Ted Kord
Kudos: 7





	frosty the (evil) snowman

While Zatanna was certain she had never heard a demonic version of jingle bells, she found the song stuck in her head nonetheless. Cacophonous voices mixed with guitars and drums to make a wicked sound that she strangely found pleasant. Real or not, the song was fitting for the situation that Zatanna found herself in.

“I mean it’s not just me, right?” Ted asked as he used a laser to melt a snowman, “This feels wrong.”

“Like this is some metaphor for childhood innocence?” Zatanna said.

“Exactly!”

Dinah kicked the head off of a snowman, “I think you’re both looking too deep into this.”

“You just decapitated Frosty,” Ted replied.

Dinah rolled her eyes, then she looked at the next wave of evil snowmen marching (rolling?) towards them in a triangular pattern. She grabbed the head she just kicked off and asked Zatanna, “Think I can get a strike?”

Zatanna smirked, immediately understanding, “Throw it and see.” Dinah grandma threw the huge chunk of snow towards the group of snowmen. Halfway through its ark, Zatanna yelled, “Gib gnilwob llab.” The former head transformed into a comically large bowling ball. It hit the ground right before the mob of snowmen and barreled straight into the first one. It toppled over, causing a violent domino effect. Within a few seconds, the entire wave was toppled over. Most of the perfect balls of snow were now ruined, seemingly exploded on impact. Dinah straightened up and smugly clapped her hands together. 

“Should I even explain all the ways you just broke physics?” Ted asked.

“If you don’t I’ll let you go next,” Zatanna replied. 

Ted found an unscathed head to use as his ball. Sadly he was disappointed when the next wave appeared. There were fewer of them, but the snowman leading the pack was clearly upgraded. It was at least eight feet tall and had sharp icicles for teeth. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Ted said.

“Relax,” Dinah sounded like she was going to laugh, “It’s all in the technique.”

Ted sighed and threw his oversized snowball at the hulking snowman. Zatanna repeated her spell just like the last time. When it made contact this time, however, it didn’t topple the snowman. All it succeeded in doing was shaking off the top layer of snow of the creature, revealing an ice skeleton.

“That’s rough,” Zatanna said.

“Don’t worry,” Dinah said, “You’ll get 'em next time.”

“Yeah, I mean everyone has their off days.”

“And it looks like you made a crack in it.”

“Something it doesn’t look too happy about.”

“Well, he did hit it in its ice jewels.”

“Low blow if you ask me.”

Ted buried his face in his hands. “I hate you both.” 

The lead ice monster, which had been frozen in anger until this point, let out a monstrous roar and charged the three. 

“Yep,” Dinah said, “Definitely mad.”

Before the three had a chance to split up, the ice monster opened up its mouth again. This time, instead of a horrible scream, it released an ice breath.

Zatanna ran in front of the others, lifted a single hand, and said, “Tcetorp su.” A wall of blinding light surrounded the trio. 

Dinah raised her voice to be heard over the sound of ice pounding against the shield. “Have I ever told you how awesome you are?”

“You could mention it more,” Zatanna replied, her face scrunched in concentration. “Does anyone have a plan?”

“Well I don’t think Dinah can kick this one's head off,” Ted said.

“How much are you willing to bet on that?” Dinah sounded slightly offended.

“Ten bucks.”

“You’re on.”

“Guys?” Zatanna could feel her shield begin to bend, “Plan?”

“Ted, you and I will take care of the little ones. Zee, you keep the big one occupied until I can get there. Leave its head in place for me. Ready?” Zatanna and Ted nodded, “Good, now let's break.”

The three split up. Keeping to her part of the plan, Zatanna lobbed a fireball at the main monster. It roared with anger and let out it’s ice breath on her again. Zatanna decided to dodge it this time rather than use another magical shield.

“Man,” Ted said as he went after some smaller snowmen, “You need a breath mint.”

“Doesn’t really fit, Ted,” Dinah yelled. She worked through the smaller ones quickly. While she was sure that Zatanna could hold her own against the big one indefinitely, Dinah didn’t want her wasting too much energy on this fight. Not when there could be a bigger one right on its heels. When she and Ted finished with the smaller ones, they turned their attention to the big one. 

Zatanna had kept to her part of the plan. She kept the big one distracted without hurting it. Dinah eyed the situation, figuring out how to kick off the head of the ice monster. It was high and the solid ice would be tough, but she was not about to lose ten dollars to Ted.

“Ears!” She shouted. Zatanna and Ted covered their ears. Dinah released her canary cry on the ice monster. It cracked, causing Dinah to smirk. She took a running start and jumped towards the monster. She swung her feet forward, making contact with its head. Her foot made a crunching noise as it went through the ice. 

Dinah stuck the landing, then looked back at her handy work. Not only had she managed to take the head off the thing, but she also managed to shatter most of the middle part of the snowman. 

Zatanna clapped. Dinah bowed and said, “Thank you,” She turned towards Ted, “And I do accept tips.”

“Show off,” But Ted did start rummaging in his utility belt for the cash. 

“God, when can this be over,” Zatanna complained. “I’m cold.”

“Geez,” Dinah said, “I wonder why?”

Ted snorted. While he and Dinah had changed from their normal uniforms into something more fitting for the weather, Zatanna had her classic outfit on. A tophat and fishnets weren’t great protection from the cold.

“Unlike you two, I actually have commitment to my look. Especially my fishnets.”

Ted looked at Dinah, “I don’t think that last part was meant for me.”

“For your information, I have my fishnets on under these pants.”

“Okay I take it back, you’re cool again.”

“Wait a second,” Ted said, “All I have to do to be cool is wear fishnets?”

“Have you learned anything from us?” Dinah asked.

“Okay, there’s still one thing I don’t understand,” Ted said.

“Just one?” Dinah asked. 

Ted ignored her and pointed at Zatanna, “How have you not frozen to death?”

“Magic,” Zatanna answered.

“Of course,” Ted said. “What else did I expect?”

“Speaking of which,” Zatanna turned away from her two friends so that she could concentrate without the risk of laughing. “Mraw em pu.” Zatanna sighed contentedly.

“What’s it like,” Dinah asked curiously.

“Sitting in front of a warm fireplace.” 

“That does sound nice right about now,” Ted admitted.

“With a cup of cocoa,” Dinah said. 

“Yum,” Zatanna said dreamily.

“Maybe we should check in with the others to see if the fight is over?” Ted suggested. “I mean these guys have been dead for a while, and I don’t see anymore coming.” 

As soon as Ted said that, a snowstorm began swirling around them. It deliberately picked up chunks of ice and snow to hurl at the group. Zatanna instinctively threw up another force field to protect them. 

“Nice going Ted,” Dinah yelled over the roar of the storm.

“My bad,” Ted said, “Can you kick a snowstorm into submission? I’ll give you 50 bucks.”

“That would be impressive,” Zatanna said through gritted teeth. 

“No,” Dinah admitted.

“Too bad,” Ted said, “I bet they’re having the big fight without us.” 

“Well, unless we figure out how to get out of this storm, we’re not going to be very helpful,” Dinah said.

Zatanna shifted slightly, “I have an idea.”

“Good,” Dinah said. 

“I can use my hat to trap the storm.” 

Ted decided not to question the physics of that. Maybe later, when he wasn’t about to die because of a sudden magical blizzard. “Then pull this big white rabbit back into your hat and let’s go.”

“If I do that we’ll be exposed to the storm until I get it under control.”

“Oh.” Ted was now less excited about this plan.

“We don’t have another choice,” Dinah said. “Zatanna you do your thing. Ted, grab onto Zatanna’s legs to avoid being blown away.”

“I don’t think that’s very polite.” Again Ted decided to ignore the faulty physics of the situation.

“Ted!”

“Manhandling Zatanna.” Ted crouched down and grabbed one of Zatanna’s legs. Dinah did the same with the other one.

Zatanna let the shield down and took off her hat. The storm drowned out the spell she was casting, but Ted could see it start to take effect. Clumps of ice and snow flew into the hat. While the winds were brutal, the group didn’t fly off. In fact, Zatanna’s legs were producing enough heat to warm up her two teammates clinging to them. Ted attributed this to magical bullshit. 

After several minutes of Zatanna chanting, the winds started to die down microscopically. Slowly but surely Zatanna trapped all the storm in her hat. Zatanna fell to her knees, panting. Her hat rolled on the ground, which, like everything else, was covered in a layer of fine snow. Ted went to check on Zatanna while Dinah touched base with the rest of the team. 

“How are you doing?” 

“Um, confused,” Flash said.

“It seems that the source of Weather Wizard’s newfound magical powers was sucked away,” Martian Manhunter clarified.

“Yeah, I think that we’ve got an explanation for that.” Dinah went to Ted and Zatanna. “Hear that?”

“We did help,” Ted said cheerfully.

“We?” Zatanna, who was laying very dramatically on the ground, looked up at Ted.

“Okay, you helped out,” Ted said as Zatanna put her head down. “Dinah and I are just here to be eye candy.” 

“How are you?” Dinah asked Zatanna. 

“Just don’t ask me to take care of another snowstorm and I’ll be fine.” 

“So is the storm just in your hat now?” Ted asked.

“Yes. Although I can take it out.” 

“For like a fight?” Ted asked.

At the same time, Dinah said. “It’d be fun to let it out in the middle of the hall.”

“Okay,” Ted said, “I take my idea back. Dinah’s idea rocks.”

“This is why neither of you should have magic,” Zatanna said.

“Tell me it wouldn’t be funny,” Dinah said. “Imagine Flash sliding around.”

“You have a point.” Zatanna sat up. “So what are we doing now?”

“Booster is suggesting ice skating,” Ted said. 

“Hard pass,” Zatanna said. “I’ve had enough of the cold for one day.”

“Agreed,” Dinah said. 

“We could go bowling,” Ted suggested. 

“Trying to redeem yourself?” Dinah asked.

“You saw how big that snowman was, it wasn’t fair,” Ted replied. 

“Bowling it is.” Zatanna said, “Who’s paying for coco?”

“Ted,” Dinah said immediately. 

“There’s no point arguing, is there?”

“You are outnumbered,” Zatanna replied.

“C’mon,” Dinah said, “I can’t wait to school you two.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it. If you did, please consider leaving a comment or kudos.


End file.
